the real jinxxed me

umm…ok my first post finally. so YAY!

i just cant wait anymore …i mean for going to school tommorow,i just cant wait to see Mr.Darcy (sorry cant really tell the real name)anymore!!! eversince term second started i’ve been crushing on him and i never imagined it get so intense…i mean the crush.

i am in year 9 and and like everybody else here i too have my own problems.

my first and the biggest is that all my friends NEVER LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no matter what i try, they never really do…and now its like a pattern which is inevtible and honestly i am sick of it!:(

all of the friends that i make either transfer or die or turn into monsters and leave me!

so now i wonder.. that when i grow i’d never be able to tell people about my childhood buddies cuz GUESS WHAT?  I NEVER HAD ANY!

AND EVEN IF I HAD A BEST FRIEND WHO WAS THE FIRST ONE I EVER GOT ALONG WELL WITH,DIED!

and and living in one room with 3 more ppeople is also not so very pleseant!!!

and loads of family stuff..but here i’d only be open with my school stuff.

then there’s mango who’s secret long ago did i tell someone ( ohh! i know what a fool i was) but now it seems like i might just have lost him forever!

and then there’s this girl in my class who’s such a big desperado..i tell you! she copiies each and every single thing i do

which now makes me wonder am i really jinnxed???

so is it my fault?

HE and i have always been best friends, its been 3years and we’ve always had complications. Ours has always been THAT friend ship with breaks, we’ve had alot oof them, maybe because right then we both were sick of even seeing each other’s face but now its it…i cant take it no more…these breaks annoy me alot and i sometimes wonder that what is use of such friendship when it breaks your heart every time you talk to the other person. YES, i know i did wrong with him but how fair is this revenge which is killing me completly. i know that even if we had breaks we could not mean to each other at all and act like mere acquaintances but no he has always meant something special to me, he’s always been protective and concerned about me and yet i can always count on him so what should i do now when this long break hits again?

WHY ain’t HE TALKING TO ME ??!??!??

so mr.darcy used to talk o me everyday(like every single day) but these days he just doesnt!!!!

what the hell is wrong with him?

cuz i know that he’s SUPER CUTE!!!

i mean i miss talking to him… i feel like i am going back to the old one where just like here i was heartbroken.

i just cant take this ANMORE!!!

EITHER I HAVE TO LET GO OR MAKE HIM TALK TO ME BY SOME WAY OR THE OTHER?

sounds desperate?

i know but that’s just what i feel inside but at the same time i should keep in mind that i am not being the tiffany’s and brittany’s but how?

its like he’s never going to ask me out!!!!!

but hey…they say you should enjoy the feeling of being in love not that if it would work out or not? but i cant!!!

so lets just take a promise here i WONT THINK ABOT HIM and concentrate on my goals and when i acheive them probably some miracle happens?

but then again miracles do happen right?

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